An elderly man was taking a leisurely stroll down the street one afternoon when he was suddenly approached by a particularly scruffy, down-on-his-luck homeless man. The stranger politely asked if he could spare a couple of dollars to help him get some dinner.
The gentleman stopped, pulled out his wallet, fished out a crisp ten-dollar bill, and looked the man straight in the eye.
“Tell me the truth,” the old man asked. “If I give you this money, are you just going to go buy beer with it instead of actual food?”
“Oh, absolutely not,” the homeless man replied, shaking his head. “I had to give up drinking years and years ago.”
“Well, are you going to use it to go fishing instead of buying a meal?” the gentleman pressed.
“No way, mister. I don’t waste my time fishing,” the homeless man said. “I need to spend every waking second just trying to survive out here.”
The old man raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to spend this cash on greens fees at a golf course?”
“Are you NUTS?!” the homeless man exclaimed. “I haven’t played a single round of golf in over twenty years!”
“Alright, one last question,” the gentleman said. “Are you going to spend this money on a wild night with a woman in the red-light district instead of food?”
“Good grief!” the homeless man groaned. “What kind of crazy disease would I even catch for ten lousy bucks?!”
The old man smiled warmly, tucked the ten-dollar bill back into his wallet, and slipped it into his pocket. “Well, in that case, I’m not going to give you this money. Instead, I am going to take you back to my house right now for a magnificent, home-cooked dinner prepared by my wife.”
The homeless man was absolutely astounded. “Wait, really? Won’t your wife be completely furious with you for doing that? Look at me—I’m filthy, covered in dirt, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The old man chuckled, patted him on the shoulder, and replied:
“Oh, don’t worry about that at all, my friend. It is absolutely vital for her to see exactly what a man turns into after he completely gives up beer, fishing, golf, and women!”
