The Midnight Phone Call
A heavily drunk guy catches a cab to go home. Five minutes into the ride, he decides to call his wife and puts it on speakerphone:
“Hey babe, I’m on my way back. I’ll be home in about 10 minutes. Get some warm water ready for my bath, okay?”
“Hey babe, I’m on my way back. I’ll be home in about 10 minutes. Get some warm water ready for my bath, okay?”
His wife snaps back aggressively over the phone:
“Drunk again, huh? And who are you with? I can distinctly hear a woman sighing in the background!”
“Drunk again, huh? And who are you with? I can distinctly hear a woman sighing in the background!”
The husband, startled, looks at the empty passenger seat next to the driver.
He then looks at the driver—a heavily bearded, burly man. The husband stammers:
“No way! There’s no one here except me and the male cab driver!”
“No way! There’s no one here except me and the male cab driver!”
Right at that moment, the burly driver leans over, looks at the husband with deeply affectionate eyes, and says in a soft, sultry, high-pitched voice:
“Oh honey, I told you not to use speakerphone when we are together like this…”
“Oh honey, I told you not to use speakerphone when we are together like this…”
Before the husband can even react, his wife screams, “You pig!” and slams the phone down. The driver instantly drops the act, flashes a sinister smile, turns off the meter, and says:
“There. I just solved your nagging wife problem. Now, let’s take a little detour to the outskirts of town to talk about my premium midnight rates.”
“There. I just solved your nagging wife problem. Now, let’s take a little detour to the outskirts of town to talk about my premium midnight rates.”
