A furious boss went marching out of his office and spotted his newest employee, Little Johnny, having a heated exchange with a gentleman who was storming out the front door.
“Little Johnny! Get into my office right now!” the boss bellowed.
Johnny walked in, keeping his cool. “Yes, sir?”
The boss slammed his hand on the desk. “Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer who just left. How many times do I have to tell you? In this establishment, the customer is always right! Do you understand me?”
“Yes, sir,” Johnny replied nodding politely. “The customer is always right.”
The boss calmed down a bit, smoothed his tie, and asked, “Good. Now, what on earth were you arguing about with him anyway?”
“Well, sir,” Johnny explained, “he told me that my boss is a complete idiot and a total stupid jackass!”
The boss’s face turned bright red with rage. “The nerve of that bastard! And what did you say to him?!”
Johnny smiled warmly and said:
“I told him he was right.”
The Biology Teacher Claimed Animals Can’t Stutter—Until a Student Revealed Her Cat’s Tragic Last Words
A biology teacher was giving a lesson to her 3rd-grade class. “Class,” she explained, “humans are unique in the animal kingdom because we are the only species capable of developing a stutter.”
A little girl in the back row immediately raised her hand. “No ma’am, that’s not true! I actually used to have a cat who stuttered.”
The teacher, knowing how wildly imaginative 3rd-grade stories could be, smiled gently and asked her to explain.
The little girl stood up proudly and said, “Well, we had this big tabby cat that absolutely loved to torment the giant Rottweiler next door. But one day, the Rottweiler got loose and jumped right over the fence.”
She took a deep breath and continued, “My cat stood her ground and tried to yell at him. She went, ‘Fff… fff… fff…’ but before she could finish saying it—BANG!—the Rottweiler ate her.”
