Little Johnny Was Sitting In Class
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally.
The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?”
And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!”
And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.”
Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?”
and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!”
And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.”
Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says,
“If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!”
And the teacher faints.
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 — are you ready?”
Barbara: “Sure, I’ll have a go!”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build its own nest?……Is it…….. A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo, D-Thrush
Remember Barbara it’s worth 1 Million dollars.”
“I think I know who it..but I’m not 100%…
No, I haven’t got a clue. I’d like to phone a friend, Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: “Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: “I’ll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.”
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): “Hello…”
Regis: “Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000 but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer — fire away Barbara.”
Barbara: “Maggie, which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it:
A-Robin, B-Sparrow, C-Cuckoo, D-Thrush”
Maggie: “Oh Gees, Barbara that’s simple…..It’s Cuckoo.”
Barbara: “You think?”
Maggie: “I’m sure.”
Barbara: ” Thanks, Maggie.” (hangs up)
Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?”
Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C-Cuckoo”
Regis: “Is that your final answer?”
Barbara: “It is.”
Regis: “Are you confident?”
Barbara: “Yes fairly, Maggie’s a sound bet.”
Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo …you’re right! – You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.”
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks
“Tell me, Maggie, How in God’s name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: “Listen, Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.”
