In recent years, more and more women have been seen in the workplace and have more responsibility doing work that men typically do (working in offices, in factories, in warehouses, or at mechanic shops). However, when getting home, they still do housework like cleaning, cooking and taking care of the children. This role for women has been coined over the years as “wifely duties.”
A mom-to-be came to Reddit to inquire if she is wrong for not performing “wifely duties” for her husband. She wrote:
“I (30f) have been married to my husband for a year. We are expecting our first child and its a really tricky pregnancy for me.
My husband grew up as a mommas boy but throughout our relationship that dynamic changed and he became more independent. His mother always cooked for him, cleaned for him even when he was an adult he was never required or taught how to do house chores. He learnt all that through me.
I’m working a really hard job since I was 25. I work at a warehouse and I always work overtime because my boss is horrible but that’s another story. My husband is working from home even before the pandemic.
Now, my MIL and my mom call me a bad wife for not caring for my husband properly. They claim its my job to do the cooking and cleaning. My mom justifies my MIL intervening in our household matters. She says I’m not a proper housewife.
My husband complained to my mom today that I’m too lazy. That I haven’t cooked a proper meal in a week and I only cook easy quick meals. I’m working a 12 hour job while pregnant and he’s working from home. My job is also a 2hour drive from the house. I’m away 14 hours a day overworking myself while he does nothing to help around the house and the few times he does help he rubs it on my face while calling me lazy and complaining to my mom and his mom.
While I was at work today my MIL called me and complained about how her son has lost weight since he married me and how I’m not feeding him and she’d never let him marry me if she knew how shitty I am as a wife. I told her her son is a grown man who’s fully capable of taking care of himself, also told her to never bother me again while I’m at work and hang up.
My mom called me few minutes later to also complain and I told her I’m not my husbands babysitter I’m his wife and if she and MIL want to act like babysitters to him then be my guest.
I was having a chat with my friend from work about that and she told me I’m TA because that’s what I signed up for when I married my husband and I should take responsibility when I’m not doing my wife duties the right way. She said I let online feminists get in my mind and I forgot what a proper wife is like and I’m being an ass by trying to rebel against my husband while also offending my MIL and mom. So AITA?”
Can you give her advice?
Source: reddit.com
