Home Funny He Tried Everything to Sneak Home Late… His Friend’s Trick Was Unbelievable

He Tried Everything to Sneak Home Late… His Friend’s Trick Was Unbelievable

He Tried Everything to Sneak Home Late… His Friend’s Trick Was Unbelievable
Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says…
“You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”
His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach.”
He continues, “I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife’s ass and say, ‘How about a bl*wj0b?’ … and she’s always sound asleep.”
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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow.

The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.

He calls the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.

The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found.

So he drives the farmer’s Porsche back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.

He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole.

The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

The horse said, ‘I think I can stand over the hole!’

So he stretched over the width of the hole and said,

‘Grab for my thingy and pull yourself up.’ And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Porsche to pick up chicks!