When one mom-to-be and her baby’s father broke up, she had a burning question for Reddit: Was it okay to NOT have him in the delivery room when she had the baby?
“So, I’ve never really asked strangers for advice but with my family and his biased emotions I need a fresh perspective.
Backstory: My ex (19M) and I (19F) were together for about 10 months I believe (pregnancy brain has me screwed) I after awhile started to realize that I hadn’t gotten my period since April so I course I did what any person with a uterus would do and got a test. Well, it was positive.
Fast forward through the freaking out of my parents are gonna kill me and all that, I make an appointment with my doctor to take a blood test. I wait my time and find out I am indeed pregnant, about 4-6 weeks pregnant. I am now 25 weeks pregnant, I’m not entirely sure when we broke up in the course of the pregnancy but it was a bit ago.
Now, we had things pretty under control he was letting me make the decisions and pick names all that but when we were together I had planned for him and my mother to be in the delivery room, with COVID precautions I am only allowed 2 people to have in the room, and he was going to name the baby if they were a boy.
We now know that the little bean is a boy but since my ex decided to leave me I said screw that and I chose a name and switched my ex out for my dad even letting the hospital know that he was no longer going to be present and I did not want him in my room no matter what. I believe that in a situation like this my comfort in labor comes first. ”
Well, when I first told him this he was not exactly happy about it but he wasn’t going to fight me but of course he went to speak with his mother and suddenly!
He HAS to have the last name and he HAS to be in the room. I understand that, yes this is his child also but he is the one who left.
He still tries to hit me up for sex and is now going on about how he is joining the military and our son needs to have his name so if he dies or if I take our son away from him our son will have a piece of his dad and he needs to be in the room because and I quote “He’s my fucking kid too, you don’t have the right to take this away from me” which was yelled in a very rude way at me in my driveway at 6pm when he randomly showed up.
I get that he wants to be a dad but before anyone makes their final decisions I would also like to point out that he was all for an abortion before but when I said it didn’t feel right he was furious that I told my mom that he had originally wanted an abortion.
I’m starting to slowly feel like an asshole for the way I’m acting but at the same time he didn’t want to stick around and also didn’t even originally want our son. So, AITA?”
Turns out, readers are on her side, claiming her NOT the jerk in this situation.
“The taking of your partners name thing is just anachronism. It’s not a rule. If he’s not willing to be a proper dad, I don’t see why you wouldn’t give the child your last name,” one person wrote. “And the labor room is 110% about your comfort. Of course he shouldn’t be allowed if you don’t want it.”
“Birth is NOT a spectator sport,” another reasoned. “He’s obviously not providing you with comfort or positivity. Stress can stall labor, which can then impact the baby causing thing a like low blood sugar.”
“He also sounds really immature and wishy washy,” another observed. “I highly doubt he would be a good support person.”
Case closed: NOT the jerk here. What do you think—how would you act if you were in this situation
Source:reddit.com, tiphero.com
