A nun visits the priest.
– “Father, we have a problem with our two parrots at the monastery. They are females, and they can only say one terrible sentence: ‘We are pr0sti-tutes – do you want to have some fun?’”
The pastor is appalled:
– “That’s terrible! But maybe I have a solution.”
– “Bring me your parrots. I’ll put them with my two parrots. They’re males, and I’ve taught them to pray and read the Bible. Your parrots will certainly learn something.”
The next day, the nun brings her parrots by. As promised, the priest puts them in the cage with the two male parrots.
As soon as they sit down together, the two females call out:
– “We are pr0sti-tutes – do you want to have some fun?”
Then one male parrot looks at the other and says:
– “You can put the Bible away, my friend… our prayers have finally been answered!”
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A bald, somewhat older man enters a jewelry store with a much younger, beautiful woman.
He tells the jeweler he’s looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler pulls out a ring for $5,000. The old man says, “No, I want to see something special.”
So the jeweler goes to his secret storeroom and brings back a ring worth $40,000. The young woman’s heart races, her eyes sparkle, everything. The old man sees this and says, “We’ll take that one.”
The jeweler asked how he wanted to pay. The old man replied: “By check. You can call the bank on Monday and check if it’s cleared. I’ll pick up the ring on Monday.”
On Monday morning, the jeweler calls, completely furious: “Sir, there’s absolutely no money in the account!”
The old man: “Yes, I know… but let me tell you about my weekend.”
