My grandma went to Walmart with one simple mission:
“I’m only getting three things.”
Thirty minutes later, she was already causing problems.
An employee greeted her.
“Welcome to Walmart! Can I help you find anything?”
Grandma looked around and said,
“Yes. Common sense. Aisle 12?”
The employee blinked.
“Uh… we don’t carry that, ma’am.”
Grandma nodded.
“Figures. That explains why this place is always a mess.”
A few minutes later, the employee pointed her toward the checkout.
“Checkout lanes are over there.”
Grandma walked up to the self-checkout and suddenly shouted,
“IT TOLD ME TO SCAN MY SOUL! I DON’T HAVE ONE!”
The employee immediately called the manager.
Three minutes later, the manager walked over with a completely different expression.
“Ma’am, we’d like to give you a $100 gift card.”
Grandma looked suspicious.
“For what?”
The manager smiled.
“You reorganized the entire clearance aisle by price… and you found two shoplifters our security cameras missed.”
Grandma nodded proudly.
“I told you. I came here for three things.”
The manager asked, “What were they?”
Grandma smiled.
“Three things? I don’t remember. But apparently, Walmart needed me more than I needed Walmart.”
