His New Wife Told Him to Leave All His Interests and Focus on Her — But His Reply Shocked Her
An avid sportsman and hunter, Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt. His wife stood by the bench, watching him in silence.
After a long pause, she finally spoke.
“Honey, I’ve been thinking. Now that we are married, I think it’s time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and your boat.”
Tim looked at her in shock.
She asked, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied, “You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!” she screamed. “I didn’t know you were married before!”
Tim calmly said:
“I wasn’t.”
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A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket.
She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl,
“Nothing but the best for my little kitten.”
The girl at the cash register said,
“I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.”
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies.
The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.
Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
The cashier said, “No, you might have a snake in there.”
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, “That smells like crap.”
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear,
“Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?”
Never fool around with a Little old lady!
