Three Elderly Women Smashed Every Swimming Record. The 90-Year-Old’s Secret Had Nothing to Do with Athletics.
A fit young man headed to the local public swimming pool to test his personal best time for the 100-meter freestyle. Sitting right at the edge of the pool were three sweet, frail-looking elderly ladies, quietly knitting and watching him swim.
The young man exploded through the water, touching the wall at exactly one and a half minutes. As he climbed out of the pool, panting heavily and feeling quite proud of himself, one of the elderly ladies looked up.
“Not bad, young man,” she chirped. “But I’m 70 years old and I can easily do it faster than that.”
The young man smirked. “With all due respect, ma’am, I highly doubt that. You’ll have to prove it to me.”
Without a word, the 70-year-old stood up, dived gracefully into the pool, and cut through the water like a torpedo, finishing the 100 meters in an astonishing 1 minute and 20 seconds.
The young man’s jaw dropped. “How on earth did you do that?!”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” she shrugged, sitting back down to her knitting. “I used to be the European Olympic swimming champion.”
Suddenly, the second lady stood up. “Ha! That’s child’s play. I’m 80 years old and I’m even faster!”
To prove her point, she dove into the water. Moving like lightning, she touched the wall at exactly 1 minute flat. The young man stood there, completely stunned, asking how it was humanly possible.
“Simple,” the 80-year-old smiled. “I’m a former world record holder, and I still keep in great shape.”
That’s when the third old lady, looking incredibly fragile, slowly stood up. “You girls are ridiculous. I’m 90 years old and I can smoke both of you!”
She dove in, and the water practically began to boil. She flew down the lane and touched the wall at an unbelievable 50 seconds!
“That is a new world record!” gasped the 80-year-old.
“Incredible!” cheered the 70-year-old.
The young man was practically shaking with disbelief. He ran over and yelled, “How the hell did you just do that?!”
The 90-year-old climbed out, squeezed the water from her hair, and smiled fondly. “Oh, that was easy, dear! I used to be a high-end prostitute in Venice, and I only did home visits by swimming through the canals!”
